thoughts from a sixteen-year-old girl. ♥

God.

Monday, January 31, 20113:10 AM

I love you and I trust you. :>

Sadness from the heart.

Monday, January 10, 20113:33 AM

This song sums up what I feel right now.
A Demi Lovato song, of course. She's my hero.

Here I am
Feels like the walls are closing in
Once again it's time to face it and be strong
I wanna do the right thing now
I know it's up to me some how
I've lost my way

If I could take it all back I would now
I never meant to let you all down
And now I've got to try to turn it all around
And figure out how to fix this
I know there's a way so I promise
I'm gonna clean up this mess I made
Maybe It's not to late
Maybe it's not to late oh

So I'll take a stand
Even though it's complicated
If I can I wanna change the way I've made it
I gotta do the right thing now
I know it's up to me some how
I'll find my way

If I could take it all back I would now
I never meant to let you all down
And now I've got to try to turn it all around
And figure out how to fix this
I know there's a way so I promise
I'm gonna clean up the mess I made
Maybe It's not to late

I'm gonna find the strength
To be the one who that holds it all together
Show you that I'm sorry
But I know that we can make it better

If I could take it all back I would now
I never meant to let you all down
And now I've got to try to turn it all around
And figure out how to fix this
I know there's a way so I promise
I'm gonna clean up the mess I made
Maybe It's not to late

I never meant to let you all down
Now I've got to try to turn it all around
And figure out how to fix this
I know there's a way so I promise
I'm gonna clean up this mess I made
Maybe It's not to late
Maybe it's not to late oh yeah

---

I won't give up. I'll do my best. I swear.

Oh and, God, I love you and I thank you ♥

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Madami kong nais sabihin. Kht wag kayong makinig, ayos lang. Isusulat ko nlng lahat. [part 1]

Wednesday, January 5, 20115:21 AM

Sa pagdaan ng araw napakadami kong natutunan.
Araw araw ang daming kong bagong bagay na narerealize. Galing lht sa puso ang isusulat ko ngayon.

Mas nadadalian kasi akong isulat ang nararamdaman ko ngayon kesa ipaliwanag sa iba.

Unang una, natutunan ko na ang no man can change himself. Only God can change us. Tinuro yan ng aming guro. So why write a bunch of new year resolutions when you know it will remain written? Wag na gnyan. Gawin nlng ng gawin. Dba?

Ever since, I don't really agree about changing myself. Matigas ako. Ayokong magbago para sa iba, ayokong baguhin ang sarili ko pra iplease ang iba and I definitely dont want to prove myself to anyone. Ayokong mgbago para gstuhin nila ko, I tried it then ayon, nhirapn ako. Hndi nmn kasi dpt. Kng ayaw nila, who needs them dba?
Those who minds doesn't matter. Those who matters doesn't mind.

I dont know where I got this beliefs. Nakuha ko ata ang way of thinking ko na to sa sobrang panunuod ng Disney Channel. Oh, Idc. Kng di nmn dhl sa disney di ko naman maappreciate ng ganto ang sarili ko. Sila ang ngturo na all dreams could come true, that you should be true to who you are, that you should be yourself. Oh dba? At siguro nkuha ko dn sa mga shows nila, Disney's all about dreams and being yourself. Yung rolemodel ko nga galing ng disney, Si Demi Lovato ho.

Ayy, mdami kong natutunan sa knya. Everytime Im feeling down, "Believe In Me" yung kanta niang yan, sobrang nkakainspire. Mssbe ko dn, mdami kong natutunan sa mga kantang nagdaan sa buhay ko, actually mas mdami kong nkukuhang life applicable lesson sa kanta kesa sa mga experience ko. Pero I know, dadami dn ang matutunan from experience once I get to explore my life even more.

So ayon, throughout my 16 years, I've encountered a lot of people wanting to change me. I can't, just can't. And everytime, lagi akong nagmamatigas, lagi kong paninindigan ~ wala nmn akong gnagwang masama, at walang msama sa pagiging kung sino ka talga as long as wala kang inaapakan. Tama ba? De yun, until now, Im still myself, and Im glad about it..

Piece of advice, dont live to please other people who can't like you for you. Remember you're here in this world, because of God. He's still the main reason why you're living your life. Mabuhay ka para sa kanya. Di para sa ibang tao.

Pangalawa kong narealize, si Miley Cyrus. Know nio sia? well, some may say she changed a lot.
I watched her since she was a little girl playing the role of Hannah Montana. I liked her. Then she starts to grow up, certain part I never really understand very well. So then, i thought she changed. I disliked her. But her songs, I continued liking them, her songs are definitely amazing, so real from the heart. I can relate really. Its like I know how she felt, Damang dama ko mga kanta niya. Siguro kc nafeel ko dn yun kaya ngugustuhan ko.

So ayon, Im aware of all the ppl hating on her, saying she's a slut, saying she's awful, saying she'd gone wild. Then, I agree that she changed, but the truth is, she didn't, she just starts to grow, she starts to explore things and be who she wants to be. Its her life. And I dont understand why we tried to control her. If someone stops living their life the way we want them to, that doesn't mean they changed. Akala lng natin ngbago sila dahil hndi na sila nabubuhay sa kagustuhan ntn.

Ppl are not robots. You dont get to control them and tell them who to be. Ya want yer freedom right? Why not give them theirs? No one wants to be a little robot. We all want to live our life the way we want to. We should all respect that little fact about life.

Pangatlo, narealize ko na ang paghingi ng tawad para sa isang bagay na nararamdaman mo ay mali, para skn. Kasi prang its a fancy way of saying "SORRY FOR BEING ME."
Pathetic right? Kya nga my freedom of speech dba? Feel what you want to feel. And definitely say what you feel. Nothing is wrong about that. Seriously.

Iyan muna, itutuloy ko nlng ang iba bukas.
I have so many thoughts and stories I want to share. I just want to write it here instead of telling ppl about it.

Kung binasa niyo, salamat at sana may napulot kayong aral.

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Bhebspren.

4:54 AM

Kanina pa kasi ako nalulungkot sa totoo lng.
Nalibang lng ako ng kaunti nung dumalaw ang aking kaibigan na kinalimutan na ata ako, bglang nabuhay, bute nmn dba nkaalala - si saddi.

So, yun. knina pa ko nalulungkot.
Ewn ko, parang may kulang sakin. Di ko maexpress kung ano. So I decided to blog, nagbasa ko ng blog ni Inah. I saw her post, luma na e. Dec 2009 pa.

Suddenly. Na touch ako. I didn't know I was that "APPRECIATED" to someone.

"CHAT CHAT CHAT. Wla ako mkausap kahit online c bhebspren.
Ewan ko ba, pero guilty ako dahil hnd ako sumama skania kanina sa xmas party nla.
Gusto ko nmn sumama e, ang poblem is, nahihiya ako. Nkaka op kaya. prang ang epal ko nmn kung sasama ko db. Shes actin so cold. bkeeeeeet? bkeeeet? ewan. ang tipid nya magsalita ngaun. mbabaliw ako pag ganto. :( "

Natuwa ako, malamang.
Kht mtgl na siya, at kht ngayon ko lng iaappreciate to. gagwin ko pdn.
Nkakatuwa kayang isipin na may ganto kang kaibigan. How swerte dba.

Mas msya siguro kng ksama ko siya araw araw dba.
Kaso nga lumipat ako ng school.
But thats not my point, ang point ko lng, ako'y ntouch, dunno why.

Pero msya ko.
Si bhebs ksi kht an layo sayo nian, pg ngusap kayo, grabe prang khpon lng kayo ngkita. Ska alam ko my tiwala skn yan. Grabe kaya mkipgchismisan yan.
Haha. Ska pg my problema ka, yung tipong walang tao sa tabi mo na kaya mong pgsabihan, ipm mo lng yan. Laging makikinig.

Nkakatuwa.
Proves me that there are great things in my life na di ko xadong naappreciate.

Well. Mswerte ako.
These past few days, Ok nmn kami. Open ako sa knya.
So sna, tuloy tuloy lang.

Slmt bhebs :)
Mahal kita.

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